So recently Dani has had to learn some lessons the hard way!!
As you probably read already she recently went to Disney World with her school for choir. The band and art classes also went at the same time. A couple of days after she returned she and I were sitting in the living room and she blurted out that she has a boyfriend!!!
WHAAATTT!!!??? was my inside reaction but on the outside I tried to remain calm and ask her who, what, when, where, why, how!!!!!
Caleb Horn, a boy who she is around a lot at school and church, asked her to be his girlfriend on the trip. You could tell she was very nervous to tell me about it, mainly because she knew that she was not of age in our house to have a boyfriend, it just wasn't allowed yet. We haven't set specific rules on dating because so much of it is dependent on the individual person...but it was very clear that it wasn't allowed.
Later that night I made her tell her dad when he got home. Once again, it was another two hour conversation mainly trying to get her to realize that she was not in control of her life yet, not able to make these types of decisions without our approval and she eventually admitted that she thought about the fact that she wasn't allowed to date before he asked her and she said yes anyway!!
While we realize that her saying yet and having a boyfriend was more of a social acceptance more so than actually liking this kid, she was trying hard to argue that she really did/does like him more than a friend. Josh gave her some questions to answer by essay form and get back to him the next day with her answers:
1. Why do you have to be "going out" to hang out more together? (This was one of her reasons as to why she had a boyfriend)
2. What do you expect to gain out of this understanding of mutual affection?
3. What factors did you take into consideration and what lead you to say yes?
4. Why am I at a better position than my dad to make decisions?
5. How will the dating situation further your purpose for God and his glory?
She was sent to bed and told to return with her answers the next day. The next day rolls around and her answers were not quite good enough to convince her dad that dating was the right choice at her age, at this time in her life. However, she decided that she was going to continue the relationship to the next "stage" of questioning and allow Caleb to talk with her dad after church that night so that Josh could ask Caleb the same questions he asked Dani.
That night at church Josh took Caleb in a room with the door shut and discussed his intentions for the relationship with Dani for 45 minutes while Dani sat anxiously in the hallway waiting for any signs of life!! Finally after a long disucssion Josh and Dani rode home together and ultimately Josh just couldn't get past the whole "what was the point" of having a relationship at this age when you can't go anywhere together, you aren't mature enough to look towards the future of marriage, the relationship cannot be more than a friendship because of the circumstances and their ages. So in the end, Josh asked if Dani would date him and break up with Caleb so that he could teach her how she needs to be treated, loved, cherished and respected before committing to a real relationship. Sweet right??!! One day she will appreciate that I documented this, I hope!!
Stay tuned for more learning lessons for Dani!
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